Beige Lasers don't occur in Nature

photo by Jordan

...but they do here.

All apologies to my bandmates as I recorded this one acoustic just for the dinosaurs.

Enjoy:
Beige Laser - I only BANG Models...from the Future

index card art to make D. salivate.

indexed.blogspot.com

fire up the randomizer, Mr Doctor Professor

Word up, fellow dinosaurs.
Hank, your friends are haters! They must hug and kiss you a lot behind the scenes.
Don't know if you've seen it already or not, but Brad Neely's new stuff is finally up on this website.
And it is badass. Make sure to 'view all,' there are 7 things.

Here is a cartoon about life at the dinosaur house:

Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks @ SoHo

MALKMUSTACHE!!!!


So, either I'm the only dinosaur alive, or the only one lame enough to post the last half-dozen blogs. And I know I'm not the only one alive, cuz I just talked to Sam-bone last night. Anyway...

If I had made a "Best of" list for 2005, Stephen Malkmus woulda been at the top. I feel into his post-Pavement stuff with "Pig Lib," but found his 2005 LP "Face the Truth" really fantastic. Full of the sort of brips, drips, and slips, that Stereolab pioneered, Malkmus really hit his stride with songs like "Freeze the Saints," "Mama," and "Baby C'mon" where he managed to navigate uncomfortably close emotional territory with Malkmus' signature absurd literary refrences. (Case in point: " Upstairs mama's making some crepes, yeah / From a fancy recipe book /To me they just look like tortillas /Boy, that mama can cook) For those of you who still haven't put down your Pavement discs, imagine "Father to a Sister of Thought" juxtaposed inside "5 + 4 = Unity."

So, I was pretty jazzed to see Malkmus play in Santa Barbara at this club/bar called SoHo, which I'd been to a couple times to attend "Drama Prama" - the "Prom" for the Drama kids at UCSB. SoHo's a bit yuppie for my taste, but have managed to get some really solid indie acts in the past year (TV on the Radio, Calexico, etc). The place is pretty small and ridiculously mismanaged. By the time opening act "Entrance" had begun their set, about 10% of the crowd had been let in. Even Malkmus came out to see what the hold up was.


I swear to God I saw Entrance in High School while watching local hippies play blues songs for a reallllly long time on a friends couch. Talking to a friend during the dreaded between band break, she bemoaned. "They're a little jam-bandy." Which, was completely acurate. But, I will say this...good jam-bandy. Really solid bass lines, a very strong drummer, a few too many guitar solos, but what're you gonna expect from 3 people playing barefoot? And as I reminded my friend. This is a Stephen Malkmus show. There's gonna be some jamming.

And there was. Standing next to the stage, about 5 feet from the Malkmustache itself, I had a clear shot at the set list which featured about 12 songs total. At least 6 of which I had no idea what they were. Not on any of the 3 previous Malkmus albums, I gotta think that we were getting the preview of the new Jicks material. And, it's pretty rawkus. The Jicks new drummer - Janet Weiss of Sleater-Kinney - and Malkmus seemed to be having a great time, just rocking. It was one of the most lively shows that I've seen. All members of the band were shooting jokes to one another, but as a crowd we were really left in the dark. Malkmus rarely threw in a
"Thank You" and his only response to drunk guy yelling "PLAY THE SONG ABOUT BOBCATS" was "Don't tempt me."

Still, the show was really solid and Malkmus' virtuosity on the guitar shone through. I've always thought of him as a lyricst primarily, but this show completely changed my mind. He muttered through verses all in favor of hitting the big riffs, spinning the song out of control and then bringing it back around like a skilled orchestrator. And the songs from "Face the Truth" really rock. I don't think I've seen a band be able to work to gether as well as the Jicks. Really tight despite the sonic detours, Malkmus showed why he's one of the best voices in Indie rock, still.

Bush Talks; Who Listens?

Wasn't irony supposed to be dead? Well, if the headline on CNN dot com yesterday had anything to say, irony's still alive and well and living in the White House: "Bush Admits Mistakes. Deploys More Troops." - can someone point out the logic hidden anywhere in this? This would be like you letting me drive your new car, and with you strapped in the front seat I inexplicably drive the car into a ditch, get out, bash the windows out, and admit that it was my mistake. You, of course, let me drive your new car the next day...

What is it again? Fool me once...

21, 500 troops ear marked for a "surge" back into Iraq. How do we propose to pay for this? I can see the Coca-Cola corporation salviating as they imagine the marketing possiblities for repacking the defunct soda Surge as new...Iraqi Surge. Warning some bottlecaps may be IEDs.

Or wait, I've got a better question. Why are we doing this again? Now. I'm all for democracy (little "d" not capital "D") but when has it ever worked in the Middle East? Can you name one effective Western-style democracy in the Middle East? Didn't think so. And if you said Lebanon, sorry...remember that little war last summer? Bush's reasoning that a surge of American troops will allow Iraqi institutions to take root and give a chance for Iraqi security forces to get trained before becoming invloved in sectarian violence is foolhardy at best. Let's not forget that our own "democracy" doesn't even have governmental institutions that have "taken root" - for God's sake, the Supreme Court decided an election in 2000 and Karl Rove sells elections with a ballot in the Bible despite the First Amendment.

Hasn't Bush & co. learned anything from their own political sucess? Most people vote with their god rather than their values. And so, with Iraqis sects blowing up other Iraqi sects because of their religious leanings, don't you think that perhaps this might have something to do with the problem?

And, let's not forget that Iraq is MADE UP. That's right. You can thank the British for that one. Just like they made up Pakistan where Mr. Evil-Beard (Osama) is hanging out. So, if we want to surge on anything, why don't we insert 21,500 troops into a time machine and take 'em back to Britian circa 1914. It's time to stop thinking that colonization works. It's time to fess up. The most ironic thing since 9/11 is that we think we still know what's going on. And that we think that we can solve our problems the same old way. More people.

But, beyond this, we'll finally get to see what the Democratic congress actually is. If they're going to roll over and let Bush rub their bellies like they did the SECOND time we went into Iraq or if Pelosi & co. is going to put Bush in his place. There was a reason we voted you all in...you weren't THEM. Now. Prove it.

linkage to writage about writage

I wrote a book review about a book that came out in 1961 on my blog.

I like following Sam's lead.

20 for 2006

Here's some of my favorite albums from 2006.

Happy New Year!


20. Sonic Youth - Rather Ripped

Another great SY outing.














19. Tom Waits - Orphans

Not his best, but still...Tom Waits.










18. Xiu Xiu - The Air Force

"Xiu Xiu is like your drunk racist uncle peeing on your Nintendo." - Phil













17. M. Ward - Post-War

"1...1...1...1 or 2 won't do / I want it all"














16. Beirut - Gulag Orkestra

I can't believe this kid is 19.














15. Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury

"Trill"














14. TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain

"I hate TV on the Radio" - Zach Hart














13. Cat Power - The Greatest

Chan can dance on my table anytime.














12. Bonnie 'Prince' Billy - The Letting Go

Beards everywhere rejoice














11. Band of Horses - Everything all the Time

"Weed Party!!!"














10. Tapes 'n Tapes - The Loon

"I've been a better lover with your mother."














9. Fire Don't Care - Be What You Are

"you chopped down the tree / you're living on your own"











8. Built to Spill - You in Reverse

The boys from Boise get out the riff machine, again.














7. Destroyer - Rubies

"with your father...the fuckin' maniac"














6. Mew - ...and the Glass Handed Kites

"but there's a glitch you're an ostrich / you've got your head in the sand."














5. Boris - Pink

Japenese prog-metal. What else do you want?














4. Sparklehorse - Dreamt of Light for Years in the Belly of the Mountain

It took 'em 5 years. And it was worth it.














3. Sunset Rubdown - Shut up I am Dreaming

"the ocean never listens to us anyway"














2. Lupe Fiasco - Food & Liquor

"C'mon everybody lets make cocaine cool / we need a few more half-naked women in the pool"















1. (tie) The Hold Steady - Boys & Girls in America

I've always said that this band is like the new, cooler Bruce Springsteen. This album proves me right.














Joanna Newsom - Ys

Probably the most beautiful indie album of the past 5 years.

Definately one of the Wildest Games I've ever seen

I know I'm probably the only dinosaur who cares about college football, but did anyone else see that amazing Bosie State v. Oklahoma game last night? When was the last time you saw the hook & ladder play to tie, Statue of Liberty play to win and then an proposal on the sidelines?


Simply amazing.